The expert reveals the three signs you have gaslighting yourself and what exactly you can do about it
- dr Julie Smith has revealed the top three signs you’re self-illuminating
- The psychologist says people who have been in toxic relationships are at risk
- She explained that some people become “their own tyrants” and need trust
A psychologist has revealed the top three signs you’re gaslighting yourself — and how to build the confidence you need to stop.
dr Julie Smith, who is known on Instagram as “Dr. Julie” posts and has a million followers, said people who have been in bad relationships often continue to set themselves on fire after they escape.
The first sign is that you blame yourself for everything, she explained in a recent video.
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dr Julie Smith, who is known on Instagram as “Dr. Julie” posts and has a million followers, said people who have been in bad relationships often continue to set themselves on fire after they escape
“You apologize for other people’s behavior, but when you make a mistake, you believe you’ve formed a basic picture of who you are as a person,” she said.
The second sign is that you “don’t trust your own judgment,” the clinical psychologist explained.
“You look at other people’s opinions as a much more credible source, so you live in an almost constant state of self-doubt and look to other people for clarity,” she said.
The third sign that you are self-igniting is when you invalidate or ignore your own feelings.
“You think you’re being overly sensitive or overreacting and you don’t know what emotions to listen to anymore,” she said.
dr Julie says that people who can relate to the signs “do the bully’s job for them.”
“Gaslighting has devastating effects on mental health,” she explained.
She says blaming yourself for everything is a huge red flag
What Are the Three Signs You’re Self-Lighting?
1 – You blame yourself for everything
2 – You don’t trust your own judgement
3 – You devalue or ignore your own feelings
“For those who have experienced abusive relationships in the past, we can internalize the abuser’s voice and learn to treat ourselves in the same way, even long after we’ve escaped the situation,” she added.
And it seemed that the video was understandable for many.
“I feel like this all the time,” one woman wrote in the comments.
“Oh my god I do this all the time,” said another.
“That’s so true, thanks for the reminder,” said another.
Building trust is key to changing these thoughts and behaviors.
More than 42,000 people liked and commented on the informative post.
How to Change Your MINDSET: The Secret to Growth and Confidence
1. Make it a habit to look for signs of a rigid mindset. The goal of a growth mindset is never complete. Just like motivation, you have to work on it every day. To do this, keep an eye on it.
2. Pay attention to thoughts or self-talk that sound like this:
“I can not. I won’t be able’
“If I make a mistake, they laugh at me”
“I will look stupid”
“This person is better than me. I hate them’.
3. When you try something and don’t get it or don’t do it as well as you hoped. Add that important word to the end of this thought. ‘I can’t do this… YET!’ That one word takes you from stuck (why bother trying again) to growth (let’s figure out how to do better next time). You’re much more likely to persist. Never act as if mistakes are negative. They are essential for learning.
4. When faced with a choice between something safe and a big challenge, choose the big challenge. The greater the likelihood of failure, the greater the opportunities for learning and growth.
5. When you encounter problems and difficulties, respond with compassion toward yourself (see my other posts on compassionate self-talk). Then ask, “What can I learn from this?” And ‘what can I try next?’
6. When you see someone doing better than you, learn from them. Turn jealousy and envy into inspiration and mentoring.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11177547/Dr-Julie-Smith-reveals-three-signs-gaslighting-YOURSELF.html?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490 dr Julie Smith reveals the three signs you’re gaslighting YOURSELF