I’m upset because my friend doesn’t have bridesmaids at her wedding, even though she had one at mine

A woman has been branded “selfish” after upset that her friend didn’t want bridesmaids at her wedding.

The anonymous woman – who lives in the UK – took note Mamasnet to ask if she was unreasonable.

She wrote: “A friend was my bridesmaid last year – I spent so much on my bridesmaids – dresses, hair and makeup, a bracelet etc.”

“Boyfriend got engaged two months ago.” I asked her last night what she thought of the wedding.

“She said she wanted a small wedding in Wales with just close family and friends and she’s not really thinking about having a bridesmaid as she would rather factor in the cost of Wales than spend on bridesmaid gear.”

A woman has been branded ‘selfish’ and ‘bridesmaid zilla’ after upset that her friend didn’t want bridesmaids at her wedding (stock image)

“Is it unreasonable to get upset about this?” I thought I was her bridesmaid. “I expect to at least get invited to the wedding in Wales, but I’m pretty upset.”

Other users took advantage of the comments to slam the woman as “self-centered,” with some calling her a “bridesmaid zilla.”

One user wrote: “It’s her day – isn’t it up to her what she prioritizes when it comes to what she spends her money on?”

“You sound controlling, self-centered and, frankly, not very good for a boyfriend.’ Their wedding isn’t about you.”

Another said: “You can’t be serious.” If so, then you need to stop and think. “This is her wedding and she gets to make it whatever she (and her husband-to-be) want it to be.”

A third wrote: “She shouldn’t be forced into having things she doesn’t want in hers because of the decisions you’ve made for your own wedding.”

“You spent the money on her being a bridesmaid because you wanted that for your own wedding. ‘Let her have the day she wants.’

The woman went to Mumsnet to discuss the situation and to ask other users if she was being unreasonable

Other users took advantage of the comments to slam the woman as “self-centered,” with some calling her a “bridesmaid zilla.”

A fourth commented, “Bridezillas are bad enough but I can’t believe we’ve moved on to bridesmaid zillas.”

Another wrote something similar, saying: “Never heard of a bridesmaidzilla!”

After receiving comments from others that she was being unreasonable, the woman wrote in her own post, “Yes I understand I’m being unreasonable now.”

“I didn’t really ask last night if I was invited when she mentioned close friends and family. I really hope I am.’

She also added, “She has money – her partner is doing very well.”

But others were more understanding of how the woman felt — and one even said she felt the same way.

One user wrote, “I think it’s okay if you’re disappointed that you won’t be her bridesmaid, but I think anything else is unreasonable.”

“I’m disappointed if it’s something you talked about growing up, but what you ‘plan’ as a child and teenager is very different than what you ultimately want when it comes to it.”

The anonymous woman released more information on the situation (see image above).

Another said: “I totally understand how you feel because I know it would hurt me personally not to be asked about the friendship dynamic you have described.”

“But a little bit of time and perspective and you’ll see that she’s okay with making her own decisions and no doubt you’ll be genuinely happy for her, even if those feelings wane a little.”

“Plus, it makes you feel better – being a bridesmaid can be very stressful, even if the bride is paying for everything etc.”

But others were more understanding of how the woman felt — and one even said she felt the same way

“You avoided wearing a dress that you would never choose yourself. You can stay wherever you want, arrive and leave whenever you want and just really enjoy the day!”

A third wrote: “It wouldn’t occur to me to be upset about that.” However, I just listened to a podcast on perception so I can see that really upset you.

“I’m not sure how you’re getting over it. Maybe by looking at it from their perspective. I highly doubt she’s doing it to piss you off.

“She cares about her marriage in a different way than you care about your marriage.” Try to focus on that.’