Is sex ok on a first date? Therapist says it can be beneficial for the relationship

Why sex on the first date is a good idea: Relationship expert slams ‘old-fashioned’ mentality and urges singles to get started right away

  • One relationship expert says having sex on a first date can be beneficial
  • Rachel Wright is a sex, relationship, and psychotherapist
  • She said having sex right away is a quick way to determine if the couple is compatible
  • Men were more willing than women to go on a first date

A relationship expert has defended people who had sex on a first date, with nearly half of Aussies admitting to doing the act right away.

New York-based relationship, sex, and psychotherapist Rachel Wright said there’s no “right time” to have sex with a new partner, and trying it on the first date is a quick way to determine if you’ll get the relationship want to continue.

According to one study, 49 percent of participants said they’d slept with someone on their first date, while those who didn’t said they’d rather make an emotional connection before going to bed.

Relationship expert Rachel Wright said there are benefits to having sex on the first date, as a new study found nearly half of the participants said they got the deed right away

Relationship expert Rachel Wright said there are benefits to having sex on the first date, as a new study found nearly half of the participants said they got the deed right away

Rachel defines sex as any “meaningful experience of pleasure” and said old-fashioned ideals can create shame for those who want to get intimate at the first meeting.

“Sex on the first date can be beneficial… if you want to have sex on the first date. Here’s the thing — there’s no “right time” to have sex,” she said.

“The concepts of ‘don’t give that milk away for nothing’ and ‘you won’t like me if I give it up too soon’ are old and antiquated and can shame people of all genders so much.”

The top five reasons people have sex on a first date

  1. “I enjoy it” – 53 percent
  2. “You can tell right away if you’re sexually compatible” – 46 percent
  3. “I feel like it connects you faster on a sexual level” – 26 percent
  4. “I like to see if they accept my preferences before getting emotionally involved” – 20 percent
  5. “It calms my nerves” – 16 percent

Source: love honey

The top five reasons people don’t have sex on a first date

  1. “I don’t feel comfortable having sex with someone I don’t know very well” – 47 percent
  2. “I don’t believe in having sex on a first date” – 38 percent
  3. “I only enjoy sex with people I have an emotional connection with” – 32 percent
  4. “I have a rule not to sleep with anyone on a first date” – 25 percent
  5. “I am aware of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy” – 17 percent

The relationship expert said that for some people, having sex right away is helpful in determining if they want a second date.

She added it for others feels totally out of reach because they need to have an established emotional connection with the person before they can have sex.

“Wherever you fall on that spectrum is perfectly fine, and it’s recommended that you talk to the person you’re dating,” she said.

A study conducted by adult entertainment store Love Honey found that nearly one in two people admit to having sex on a first date.

49 percent of respondents said they slept with someone on the first date, but those who didn't say they prefer to make an emotional connection before going to bed

49 percent of respondents said they slept with someone on the first date, but those who didn’t say they prefer to make an emotional connection before going to bed

The study showed that men are more likely to be interested in dating straight away, with just under 60 percent admitting to having done so.

However, women were more reluctant: 43 percent of female participants said they jumped into bed with someone on a first date, compared to 42 percent who said they didn’t.

opinion poll

Do you think sex on a first date is a good idea?

  • Yes 203 votes
  • no 525 votes

Millennials and Gen-Xers have been found to be more promiscuous than their Gen Z or Boomer counterparts.

Those aged 18 to 24 and over 55 were the least likely to sleep on a first date, with just 31 percent and 42 percent respectively saying they had done so before.

Rachel said it’s important for people to be honest with themselves and the person they’re dating for the first time, and share their expectations.

“If you texted two days before the date, it might not come,” she said.

“But if you’ve been texting for two months trying to get a date and it finally happens, you might have already talked about sex.”

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Bradford Betz

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