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The elegance expert reveals the 10 things you should NEVER do if you want to look classy

An elegance expert revealed the 10 most important things to avoid if you want to be considered “elegant” and “classy”.

Anna Bey, who lives in London and Geneva, posted a video on her YouTube channel in which she explains how people can appear more elegant simply by avoiding a few social faux pas.

The expert noted several things to avoid when dining at a restaurant or someone else’s, including being “too helpful” to your host.

Her advice included avoiding things like passive aggressiveness toward another person, and she also revealed the best time to go to the bathroom while you’re eating at a restaurant.

Here are FEMAIL Anna’s top tips on what to avoid if you want to look more elegant…

Anna Bey (pictured), who lives in London and Geneva, posted a video on her YouTube channel in which she explains how people can appear more elegant simply by avoiding a few social faux pas

Anna Bey (pictured), who lives in London and Geneva, posted a video on her YouTube channel in which she explains how people can appear more elegant simply by avoiding a few social faux pas

The expert (pictured) noted several things to avoid when dining at a restaurant or someone else's, including being

The expert (pictured) noted several things to avoid when dining at a restaurant or someone else’s, including being “too helpful” to your host

1. Don’t be rude or snappy to another person

According to Anna, passive-aggressive behavior towards another person is a sure sign that you are not an elegant person.

To demonstrate her point, she took an example from an awards show when Joanna Lumley introduced fellow actress Jennifer Lawrence as “the sexiest actress alive.”

In response, Jennifer said, “That was a bit much but thanks Joanna.”

Anna criticized Jennifer’s words, saying her behavior was “really passive aggressive”.

She said: “Even if you feel someone is being inappropriate to you, there is no reason for passive aggressiveness as elegant people are never rude or snappy.”

2. Don’t push your plate away at the end of a meal

Anna's advice (pictured) included avoiding things like passive aggressiveness toward another person, and she also revealed the best time to go to the bathroom while you're eating at a restaurant

Anna’s advice (pictured) included avoiding things like passive aggressiveness toward another person, and she also revealed the best time to go to the bathroom while you’re eating at a restaurant

Anna explained that elegant people always have the very best etiquette when it comes to sitting down to eat.

3. Don’t take your jacket to the table in a restaurant

Anna explained that there are some rules that people should follow when eating out as well as at someone’s home.

And according to the expert, the first rule comes immediately when a person enters the restaurant.

If you are dining at a finer establishment, the host will often ask if the staff can leave your coat or jacket in the cloakroom while you sit down to eat.

According to Anna, elegant people always accept this offer. She said it wasn’t elegant to sit down to a meal with your jacket over the chair.

For a real-life example of a high-profile person making this mistake, Anna referenced Anna Wintour, Editor-in-Chief of Vogue.

Referring to a London Fashion Week show, the elegance expert pointed out that the fashion editor, who was sitting in the front row next to the Queen, appeared to have her coat draped over her chair.

“The coat is literally dangling on the chair and I don’t think it looks very elegant or sophisticated,” said Anna. “Come on Anna, you can do better than that.”

In particular, she found that a person’s behavior at a dinner party can be a good indicator of whether or not they are elegant.

She advised not to move the plate away at the end of the meal as this is not considered elegant.

For guests who want to show gratitude to their host, Anna suggests asking the person who cooked for you if they need help washing up, and accommodating them if the answer is yes.

However, she cautioned against being overly helpful at a dinner party.

“Be aware, if she says ‘no,’ it’s a no,” Anna said. “You don’t need to intrude and force yourself into the kitchen.”

Anna argued that while it’s always “cute” when people want to help with something, they can get “pushy” when they end up taking over the kitchen to do the dishes. “It’s actually pretty rude to the hostess,” she said.

4. Don’t go to the bathroom during a meal in a restaurant

Sometimes, as we sit down to eat, nature calls and there’s not much we can do about it — and according to Anna, there’s no hard and fast rule as to when the right time to go to the bathroom is when you’re out for dinner.

However, she added that people of elegance do their best to wait until the end of the meal, no matter how many courses, to relieve themselves.

For those who urgently need to use the bathroom while going out for dinner, Anna advised the best time to go is just before dessert – although she admitted it wasn’t “ideal”.

She added that it’s usually considered very inelegant to visit the bathroom before or after the first course is served.

Another thing Anna discouraged people from doing was announcing where they were going if they needed to use the restroom.

‘What [elegant people] They just say ‘sorry’ and just leave,” she said. Specifically, Anna said it was “vulgar” to tell fellow guests to “go to the bathroom.”

Anna (pictured) explained that there are some rules people should follow when eating out as well as at someone's home

Anna (pictured) explained that there are some rules people should follow when eating out as well as at someone’s home

5. Do not speak loudly on the phone on public transport

Anna declared it her “pet nuisance” and said it was the opposite of elegant behavior to loudly answer phone calls in public. In particular, she said that people who do this on public transport are guilty of incredible rudeness.

“It’s against etiquette to speak loudly on the phone in public places,” she said.

6. Don’t stare at people

“Staring is considered rude and not at all stylish,” explained Anna. She added that staring at someone with your mouth open is considered even more disrespectful and naughty.

“You can’t look smiling,” she said.

For those people who consider themselves more “curious” and want to take a closer look at others, Anna suggested taking a quick look instead.

But she insisted that a basic rule of elegant behavior was not to stare at others.

Although she’s strongly opposed to people broadcasting their phone calls for everyone to hear, Anna said she’s recently found herself in an embarrassing phone situation.

After sitting down for a phone session with her therapist in her car, Anna decided to plug her phone into the car speakerphone.

It wasn’t until she noticed people giving her funny looks that she realized the speaker was loud enough for everyone outside the car to hear the conversation.

7. Don’t chew gum in public

Elegance expert Anna explained that chewing gum in public is one thing “elegant people never do”.

But for those of us trying to live a more elegant lifestyle, let’s not be too hard on ourselves – because even the most famous people in the world can be caught forgetting such rules.

Anna praised football legend David Beckham for breaking with conventions of elegance and chewing gum in public.

She noticed him munching on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding anniversary in 2018 at St George’s Chapel in Windsor.

With the eyes of the world on him, David sat next to another guest and subtly chewed on a piece of gum – albeit with his mouth closed. ‘What an elegance disaster, Mr Beckham,’ said Anna.

8. Don’t show the sole of your shoe when you sit down

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“At night, you should always carry something small like a clutch or evening bag,” said Anna (pictured).

Although Anna said that she tends to give advice to women on how to dress up, she also had a few tips for men.

In particular, she addressed something that men should avoid when sitting cross-legged.

According to the elegance expert, you should never angle your feet so that the soles of your shoes are facing another person, and you should always point them toward the floor.

Describing it as “a big mistake in terms of elegance and etiquette,” Anna said it was rude to show the soles of your feet to another person while seated.

9. Don’t explain why you can’t attend an event

10. Don’t carry a large purse at night

“At night, you should always carry something small like a clutch or evening bag,” Anna said.

Anna said women should “never” take a large bag with them in the evenings, acknowledging that a “medium” bag is just about acceptable.

However, she added: “Those big work bags or leather bags – no. They are for during the day or when you go to work.”

If you’re declining an invitation to a social event, it might seem natural to tell the host why you’re not making it — but according to Anna, those explanations can be a sign that you’re not an elegant person.

She said: ‘[Elegant people] will never be there and give the hostess a bunch of reasons why they can’t make it, and always over-explain everything. You know, it almost sounds like they’re apologizing.”

However, while Anna said that elegant people don’t give too much information when declining an invitation, she added that there are many things elegant people make sure of when responding.

“Elegant behavior, of course, means responding to an invitation in a timely and appropriate manner,” she said. ‘You don’t want to keep your host waiting forever to get an answer from you.’

If you are unable to attend an event, all you have to do is say you cannot come.

Anna added that you can say thank you for the invitation by sending a gift or flowers in your absence to show that you wish you could have attended.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11165283/Elegance-expert-reveals-10-things-NEVER-want-appear-classy.html?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490 The elegance expert reveals the 10 things you should NEVER do if you want to look classy

Andrew Kugle

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